The Ten “F*CK Your Capitalist Beauty Standards” Commandments
- Crystal Ellis
- Jun 3
- 3 min read
THOU SHALT NOT DOUCHE. Pussy should smell like a self-cleaning, properly washed and sanitized area of skin. That’s it! Abnormal vaginal odor or discharge could be signs of underlying issues, and should consult with a doctor for medical attention. Read my previous essay on vulvar hygiene care for more tips!
THOU SHALT NOT SHAVE, wax, or laser off ‘pubes along the vulvar area. Body/Pubic hair removal is a preference, but pubic hair in its natural state is OK! I love doing a “sanitary trim” around the vulva right before a menstural cycle, which must feel somewhat similar to the satisfying way my dog leaves the groomer with her anal glands expressed.
Photo: Ashley Armitage/Billie. THOU SHALT LEAVE the bonnet and mumu on during sex. Not every planned sexual encounter will look like you stepped out of a Savage X Fenty runway show, and that’s perfectly fine. Get your orgasm and go to bed (or work)!
THOU SHALT REJECT the idea of a “Summer Body.” There’s no need to feel shame for being fat/disabled/trans 365 days a year. Many folks are self-conscious about their average-looking bodies because it’s being wrongfully compared to a young, white, cis-hetero, abled body ideal. Remember, even the most inclusive brand campaigns enact desirability politics to sell their products, not to improve your self-esteem. Style your body, your way.
THOU SHALT MAKE wiser beauty and skincare product purchases. Sure, there’s an (alleged) expiration date labeled on most makeup and skincare products, but there are ways to sanitize products like eyeshadow pallets and makeup brushes to extend their shelf life. Regularly using SPF 50 sunscreen and finding a trusted esthetician and/or dermatologist is worth the money; trendy serums and at-home red-light masks are not. Also, donate unused, unwanted products to local community-based organizations, and only replace items you need at a time closer to when you’ll run out of them.
THOU SHALT EMBODY sexiness while wearing orthopedic inserts, using a wheelchair, donning a (K)N-95 mask, and/or signing [Black] American Sign Language (ASL). Check out the origins behind the viral #DisabledPeopleAreHot hashtag created by disability activist Andrew Gurza.
THOU SHALT NOT COVER up the most unique parts of one’s body. There’s no medical need for makeup products that conceal darker-colored armpit pigmentation, cosmetic varicose vein removal surgery, labia reductions, penile enlargement surgeries, or tattooing over surgical scars. Some of us may look like what we’ve been through. Others may show off our battle scars with pride. We all will look and feel different as we age. Regardless of how we feel about the way our bodies look, we deserve to receive love, pleasure, respect, and care from one another.
THOU SHALT AVOID recurring COVID infections to the best of one’s ability. Millions of previously healthy young people who now suffer from Long COVID have shown us that a smaller body isn’t inherently a healthier body. It’s not a coincidence that the skincare industry is skyrocketing in profits, while scientists are discovering that COVID infections can accelerate biological and immune aging. Build up consistent masking habits and adequate room/home air purifying devices to care for yourself and others. Constantly breathing in toxic air will destroy the body’s internal organ functioning faster than a high Body Mass Index (BMI) score ever could (which is also a sexist, racist measurement of health).
THOU SHALT TAKE responsibility for discovering what holistic health means for the self. Pleasure is more than just self-satisfying sexual experiences and looking or feeling sexy. You don’t need a “beat” face to exude authentic confidence or captivate a crowd. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social health are interconnected, making the neglect of one or more elements noticeable to oneself and others. Holistic health also informs holistic reproductive health outcomes in communities that are faced with multi-systemic issues like a lack of STI testing services, limited abortion access, and misaligned romantic and platonic relationships.
THOU SHALT TEACH the youth to grow up loving their bodies the way they are. An 8-year-old does not need to invest in an expensive “anti-aging” skincare routine, however, they do internalize stigmatizing messages when adults constantly criticize their body image in front of them. Therefore, vow to establish consent frameworks from an early age to break cycles of predatory sexual violence. Vow to address the alarming increase in eating disorders in children and adolescents. Vow to protect access to puberty blockers for transgender and cisgender youth. Vow to educate youth about sexual and reproductive anatomy, destigmatize periods, identify signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and encourage private sexual exploration of their bodies before falling into a romantic relationship.
Photo: Lawrence Crayton on Unsplash Ready to reject capitalist beauty standards but don't know where to begin? Book a FREE 15-minute consultation with Crystal to explore new pathways towards feeling your most beautiful self, inside and out!
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