AMA: "Should You "Control" a High Sex Drive?"

“If you’re easily turned on with a high sex drive, what’s the best way to help control it?”

Whether you know it or not, sexual arousal starts in the brain, but simply having a sexual thought doesn’t confirm that you should either act on the arousal or let it pass. It’s perfectly ok to have solo sex or partnered sex when aroused, but a sexual partner should feel included and desired in the mutual act of sex, not used as a breathing “blow up doll” to meet your impulsive desires.

Controlling a high sex drive may require you to move away from approaching sex and masturbation as an impulsive activity, towards an intentional opportunity for pleasure. Talking to yourself out loud about what’s visually or mentally turning you on, and why you’re turned on, can help place a literal pause between the intrusive thoughts and actions.

Additionally, “edging” is known as pausing sex/masturbation right before orgasmic release. Edging is both kinky (orgasm denial/delay) and functional (makes sex/self pleasure last longer). Practicing edging can become a mental test of self-control, but don’t place more pressure on yourself if it’s harder to achieve than it sounds. Finally, try sensually exploring the rest of the body, avoiding the genitals and well-known erogenous zones. Take body lotion or oil and rub it across your body at an intentionally slow pace- making time to really feel how your own touch starts to excite you differently than before.

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